Neverland Ranch Serves Last Jesus Juice

The final chapter came to a close this week over the much talked about Neverland Ranch. We’ve all heard the intimate details by now about the infamous bedroom closet with a secret door that leads to stairs with childrens’ stuffed animals on each step. Like others, I’d like to believe that this was meant to be used as an escape hatch for some human with a conscience. It seems Michael Jackson took a moment out from his “wine marketing tour” to pay the Neverland employees the money he’s been withholding since December 2005. There are rumors that his sister, Janet coughed up the cash. He closed the ranch and laid all the employees off immediately afterward.