TROUBLED BRITNEY SPEARS wrote a suicide note saying: Perhaps it would be better if I was dead, The Sun can reveal.
The heart-rending letter laid bare the 26-year-old singer’s dark feelings of loneliness - and despair at being unable to live up to family and fans’ expectations.
A friend found it just before Britney’s meltdown earlier this month.
Doctors and friends of the tormented star believe she needs urgent help - because she is suffering fits of terror and is mentally ill.
The chart-topping singer has had mental health problems for years, sources close to her family revealed.
Her conditions, which include manic depression and possible multiple personality disorder, seem to be worsening.
And American TV doctor PHIL MCGRAW, who has seen her recently, said she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention.
He added: I am very concerned for her.
The medics and family sources spoke out as it was revealed 26-year-old Britney penned a suicide note telling of her loneliness and fear of not living up to the expectations of fans and relatives.
Pals say the Toxic star is like a child, constantly needing care, approval and support from them.
And she is terrified of losing her children SEAN PRESTON, two, and JAYDEN JAMES, one, in her custody battle with her estranged husband KEVIN FEDERLINE.
It is understood the case’s judge believes her erratic behaviour is being caused by psychological problems rather than an addiction to prescription drugs.
And she stands little chance of winning unless she accepts treatment for mental illness.
Another bizarre incident came to light yesterday when it was revealed Britney shocked assistants in a Los Angeles clothes shop by emerging from a changing room NAKED.
Noises----
She spent 45 minutes in the room with her British lover, paparazzo ADNAN GHALIB.
An assistant said they made weird noises like they were having sex. And Britney swore at staff when she left.
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One employee said: She was slurring and spitting. Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy.
Britney’s suicide note was found in her bathroom just before her meltdown earlier this month, in which she was rushed to a psychiatric ward after refusing to hand her sons to Federline’s security guards.
It was discovered by a friend who thought it a cry for help.
A source close to the singer said: The letter was very sad. Britney talked about her loneliness, how unfair life is and not being able to trust people.
She wrote about how she will never be what people want her to be. She said, ‘Perhaps it would be better if I was dead’.
The source said the friend, who has been trying to persuade Britney to seek medical help, confronted her with the note. But she laughed it off and said: Everybody thinks about death.
Britney missed a vital court hearing over her kids on Monday. The source said: People think she doesn’t care but she loves them more than anything.
The truth is she’s terrified of losing them and can’t face going to court. She doesn’t want to answer questions about her mental health and lifestyle.
Britney’s manic depression is also known as bipolar disorder. The source said: She also has something much more serious she doesn’t want to talk about.
She may have multiple personality disorder. And she had post-natal depression after both births.
The source added: Sometimes she misses drugs she takes for her problems. Sometimes she takes too many. Combined with her drinking, it makes her difficult to control.
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